Feb 14, 2020 A great example of this is the difference between American dating and European dating. There are subtleties you will notice as an American dating a person from a European country. Of course, every relationship is different, but understanding these differences is key to communicating better with someone from another culture — and they may help.

1. Kat (American) and Dani(Spanish) go over the main differences that they have noticed in both countries. Some of them are funny, some are not and some are jus.
2. Dating abroad will be different than dating back at home If he lives, or anything that age 51 more people hundreds of friends on: online that motivates behavior. The Spanish-American War was an 1898 conflict between the United States and Spain that differences in dating spain and usa ended Spanish colonial rule in the Original Published Date.

Are Americans and Spaniards psychologically different?

Posted October 14, 2012

While I was traveling around the Iberian Peninsula last year, Spain was receiving some bad press back on the other side of the Atlantic – as an object lesson in how not to do things. I did not spent any of my time here with bankers or politicians, so I haven’t learned much about the broader economic crisis in Spain. But I did spend some time walking around the streets of Salamanca, Sevilla, and Barcelona, and much of that time involved discussions about culture and evolution with several Spanish psychologists, so I learned something about the differences (and the similarities) between Spanish and American societies.

Let’s start with the differences, since it is always interesting to compare “us” to “them.” Perhaps most salient is the number of people on the street at almost any time of the day, and long into the night. The other night I was wandering around the streets of Alicante (a medium-sized town on the Mediterranean coast south of Valencia). It was approaching 9 p.m. on a Sunday night, yet the squares were crowded with hundreds and hundreds of people, including young children, college students, and elderly couples, most sitting in large groups outside bars, sipping beverages, munching on tapas, and watching a soccer match. I enclose two pictures I took in the same square in Salamanca, once in the afternoon, then again at night (notice there are lots of people at both times).

Salamanca square by day

Salamanca square by night

This is related to another salient difference: the Spanish keep a schedule very different from los Americanos. I have occasionally been shocked to find that most Spanish restaurants are closed at noon, and many other businesses close for two or three hours in the afternoon, during the “siesta” time (which has persisted despite Spain’s union with Germany). As I understand it, Spaniards take a two-hour lunch that may begin at 2 or 3 in the afternoon, or later. That lunch may well be accompanied by a glass of cerveza or vino, and that may be followed by a short nap. Spaniards then head back to work during the hours when most Americans are packing up to head home for dinner. Dinner in Spain starts at 9 P.M., and prime time for television viewing is 11 P.M. All that seems very unnatural to me! From the perspective of an American business model, it hardly seems efficient, but the tapas sure are tasty.

There is another aspect of Spanish culture that feels very natural, but that is rather un-American. Spaniards are shockingly hospitable, even to strangers. The other day I was lost in my rental car, driving around the tiny village of Guejar Sierra, where the streets are hopelessly maze-like, and barely wide enough for one car to pass between the ancient walls. My GPS had gone haywire (turn left, turn right, turn left, turn right, no, no, wait, that’s wrong, now make a U-turn….). I finally came across a street sign that said: “Vd. Esta aqui” (you are here) but I couldn’t tell where “aqui” was at all. Then two young fellows in police uniforms pulled up, in a Jeep marked “Guardia Civil.” When I waved to them, and said I was “perdido,” they looked at my iPad map, shook their heads a couple of times, and waved at me to follow them. At this point, they proceeded to escort me through the maze of the town, down several kilometers of narrow country roads, and finally to the entrance of the Casa Rural Fuente la Teja where I was staying (smack dab in a very lovely stretch of the middle of nowhere, down a winding road called Calle de Diez y Ocho Caños; I include a picture, in case you’ve never been nowhere in Spain).

Casa Rural Fuente in Guejar Sierra (and they mean 'rural')

My host at the University of Malaga, Luis Gomez-Jacinto, is probably the most hospitable person I have ever met in my life. He not only wrote a grant to cover my travel expenses for our work together, but then he and his wife, Maribel Hombrados-Mendieta, gave me the keys to their summer house near the beach on the Gold Coast (with a lovely view of the Mediterranean from the patio). Not only that, but they set me up with their second car, a refrigerator full of groceries, a Spanish cell phone, and a special attachment for my computer – which allows me to access internet everywhere while I am in Spain. And then, when I told Luis I was planning a visit to the nearby city of Sevilla, he responded by taking me on a 4-day guided tour of what he called “Deep Spain,” including not only Sevilla and Salamanca (where Luis’s family lives), but also two days in a region called the Extremadura, a shockingly pastoral and beautiful hilly region along the Portuguese border (where his grandparent’s home still stands in a charming little pueblo called Torre de Don Miguel, and from whence came many of the Conquistadors who settled America, including Cortez, Pizarro, deSoto, and Balboa).

While we were traveling, Luis and I did not stay in hotels, but were welcomed into the homes of his parents in Salamanca, and of his brother-in-law in Sevilla, besides staying in the grandparental house in Torre don Miguel that Luis still shares as a vacation home with his parents and brother and sister). This illuminates another difference between Spain and its former colony in North America. Americans tend to be more “individualistic” than “collectivistic.” Individualists tend to focus more on themselves as isolated units, and to place less value on family ties. Indeed, America is usually ranked as the world’s most individualistic society. Spaniards are more collectivistic. Luis’s connections to his family are not unusual; another colleague told me that Spanish children typically do not go away to college, but live with their families until they marry, which in this era may not happen until they are over 30. And then, they prefer to take jobs near their families. Veronica Benet-Martinez is a psychologist who broke the mold: she studied culture and personality at U.C. Davis, did a post-doc at U.C. Berkeley, spent five years at the University of Michigan, and was on the faculty at U.C. Riverside when I met her. But after spending half her life in the U.S., she got a chance to take an academic job back in her home-town of Barcelona, and she was willing to sacrifice the American life that U.S. politicians think is so perfect. She now lives within walking distance of her office at Pompeu Fabra University, and a short Metro-ride to the homes of her sister and mother.*

I could go on about the various differences, but in the end, I would argue that the similarities between human beings in different cultures are much more important than the differences. Like Americans, Spaniards spend a good deal of every day trying to get along with their colleagues at work, worrying about how their family members are doing, and gossiping with their friends about politics, the economy, and other people’s love lives (Antonio Banderas is from Malaga, and his love life back in the U.S. still makes a hot topic on this side of the Atlantic). Indeed, Veronica Benet-Martinez has a highly cited paper, with Oliver John, examining whether the so-called Big Five personality factors, which were originally found in North American samples, would apply in Spain. That research led to the conclusion of: “little evidence for substantial cultural differences in personality structure at the broad level of abstraction represented by the Big Five dimensions.” In Spain, as in the U.S., other people care whether you are agreeable (vs. disagreeable), whether you are conscientious (vs. sloppy and undependable), whether you are extraverted (vs. shy), whether you are neurotic (vs. emotionally stable), and whether or not you are intellectually oriented and creative.

My hosts Luis Gomez-Jacinto and Maribel Hombrados-Mendieta have a paper in which they examined age differences in men’s and women’s marriage choices. Using Spain’s Marriage Records from 1976 to 2006 (with a sample of 13,292,902 people), they replicated the exact same pattern Rich Keefe and I had found in North America: As Spanish men got older, they choose increasingly younger partners for marriage, whereas females generally prefer older partners throughout their life span. They concluded: “These results provide new evidence for the evolutionary model of age preferences in choosing a partner and for the universality of the sexualattraction mechanism.” (see my blog The Mind as a Coloring Book for a description of our research on age preferences in men and women).

As we were driving around in Deep Spain, Luis and I were talking about a chapter we are writing for a series called Advances in Culture and Psychology, in which we will explore the ecological factors that influence cultural differences and similarities. Luis can speak English, but has a hard time understanding Americano when it is spoken at conversational speed. I can, on the other hand, transmit some Spanish, but am dazzled on the receiving end (when I ask “donde esta el baño?” I only comprehend one word out of four from the rapid response, so must pay careful attention to the accompanying hand gestures if I hope to make it to said baño in time). But despite the fact that Luis’s half of our conversations was in halting English, and mine was in broken Spanish, we managed to understand one another perfectly, and it was clear that our responses to most social situations are precisely the same.

What’s fascinating to me is that an evolutionary approach to human psychology, which used to be considered politically incorrect, turns out to be a perfect antidote to ethnocentrism, leading us to focus on our commonalities with other human beings, instead of our differences. All we need now is the old theme song from Coca-Cola: “I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony…” (sung in Spanish, which I’m sure is out there somewhere!)

Douglas Kenrick is author of Sex, Murder, and the Meaning of Life: A psychologist investigates how evolution, cognition, and complexity, are revolutionizing our view of human nature.

Related blogs:

The Mind as a Coloring Book: Universal psychological mechanisms yield surprising cultural diversity.

The Mind as a Coloring Book II: Why cultural diversity does not mean a blank slate mind.

References:

Benet-Martínez, V.; John, O. P. (1998). Los Cinco Grandes across cultures and ethnic groups: Multitrait-multimethod analyses of the Big Five in Spanish and English. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75, 729-750.

Gomez-Jacinto, L., & Hombrados-Mendieta, M.I. (2011). Evolutionary analysis of age difference in choice of partner in marriages celebrated in Spain from 1976 to 2006, Revista de Psicología Social, 26, 73-89.

Kenrick, D.T., & Keefe, R.C. (1992). Age preferences in mates reflect sex differences in mating strategies. Behavioral & Brain Sciences, 15, 75- 91.

*Incidentally, after reading this, Prof. Benet-Martinez pointed out that the folks up in Barcelona don't live the Southern Spanish lifestyle, with those 2 hour breaks and siestas. Besides no siestas, she points out that Catalonia has a long history of trying to preserve its different culture, language, and values, and is now asking for a referendum to separate from Spain. I did observe, however, that when she and her colleagues took me for lunch, it was at 2 P.M., and for dinner, the restaurant didn't open till 7:30 or 8:00! But of course, the more important point is that people everywhere: whether in Spain, Catalonia, Spokane, and California, have the same human nature, regardless of when they take their lunches or naptimes.

different places bring different culture and that is for sure. There will be different people, different manners, different food and many more. But who knew that geographical differences bring about different twist and turns in the love life?

There are some differences between two big and modern place which is Europe and america. Both is known to be metropolitan but each have it’s different quirks. Before jumping into the dating area there, look at these difference between dating in Europe and america so that you would know what to do.

1. Sweet words in complimenting and flirting

The people in Europe are known to be classic and cool. That place is also very influenced by art and literature so it is natural when they use that sweet soulful words to persuade the partner they want. European are usually sweet and charming in complimenting and flirting.they know the

Sweetest Things to Say to Flirt with Your Crush American are more straightforward. They do not use much sweet words, therefore you can say that they flirt roughly. Usually complimenting straight about the looks of their targeted partner.

2. Different sense of style

They say that the first look matters. Well European people know that and apply that to their love life. European dress more classic and formal, with a dress or a suit. It is as if they dress for a gala or something when in truth they are only looking for dates.

Meanwhile american dress more casually. Their look imply fun and a laid back relationship. But they will still dress formal if they are going to a formal date.

3. The chasing game

The chase is part of the fan. According to European people, especially the man, the chase is the biggest part of the whole game. They love a little bit of elegant chase and throwing some challenge here and there. This is very enjoyable to them.

Meanwhile Americans are more straightforward in dating. They will show that they want their targeted partner by showing it through their words and action. Americans do not like to prolong love things.

4. Modern dates and cultural date

Because Europe is a place with a culture that is still heavily surrounding the people, it also surround the love life of European people. Usually the dates of European people are spent hanging around cultural and historic places which are often picturesque and romantic.

On the other side we have the Americans which are more metropolitan than European people. They like to take their date to the movies or to the restaurant. Something that speaks modern and big city.

5. Passion in affection

It is a well known fact that most European people are really passionate in romance. They are not afraid to show that passion in public. That passion will also clearly show through since the first parts of the relationship. they do not hesitate in showing the

Signs That Someone is In Love With You American are usually more laid back and cool in terms of showing their passion. They like a little bit of privacy. These people also prefer to show their affection in public when they are sure of who they like.

6. Planning and presence

European are the people that likes to savor life to the bits. They love to live in the moment that is why they do not think much about the future. Even though this fact exist, they are still very successful and accomplished people in work and other area.

Americans find it hard to stay still and enjoy the things surrounding them. So they are more future oriented. They think about their next promotion or their next project and they usually have this all planned out in their head.

7. Availibility

Although this is not a precise fact, Europeans tend to have more time to date than Americans do. They also do not mind spending a lot of time in dating. This is because they like to savor the moment and because of that, sometimes they get carried away

Americans are very busy people. They do not have much time for time consuming date. Even though they are busy, they can still make time for dates after work or in the middle of work time. being busy is not the Signs That She's Not Into You

8. Labeling the relationship

European are not too into labeling which is calling each other girlfriend or boyfriend. they love to be free and loose when it comes to relationships.
Americans however, are very possessive. They prefer to have laves on each other. If not, they feel that their partner might be taken away easily.

9. Manners

European people, which are still heavily tied to their culture, have a great manner. They are grown by their parents to have great manners to everyone and they even carry it to the dating field.
Americans often do not care about manners so they are more rough and unrefined. But not all are, some are still a gentleman.

10. Showing confidence

The people in Europe have some kind of silent confidence that shows through their every move. This silence confidence can be felt without being obnoxious. Americans on the other hand, love to show their confidence

Contents

Ways to captivate americans and european

1. Be confident

• For Europe people, you need to be the mysterious kind of confident which will lure them in
• For american people, you need to clearly show that you are the boss in the room which will captivate them.

2. Understand the culture

You need to understand the basic knowledge of each culture so you can shape your manners according to what they seem to search for.

Signs that you captivate Americans or European

1. He/she initiate first moves

For European, they will quickly initiate their first move and after that they like to throw in some challenges to make the chase fun
For Americans, they usually take things slow when making first moves

2. He/she takes the relationship forward

If that person really likes you, that person would want to take things into the next level. This happens in both culture.

3. He/she says i love you

Dating Men From Spain

I love you is a universal sign. Europeans say this easily and often. Meanwhile, Americans say it slowly and when they really mean it.they also say some Romantic Things to Say to Your Girl Crush

Online Dating Spain

The difference between dating in Europe and america are unique. Learn them to master them!